When will this crazy fatness end? Why can't I just wake up 75 pounds lighter ???? That's all I really want. I want to lose this weight by not changing one single things in my life. I wish I could have gotten the bariatric surgery but I chickened out 3 times. 3!!!!!
I start softball this weekend and I am terrified of dying out there. I can barely walk some days and my fat ass joined a softball league. WTF was I thinking ?? Seriously? I wasn't. I like the idea of playing softball but not in this body. I think the reason I did it is because I will always make an excuse. I just ripped off the bandaid. Now I will sort of be fat shaming myself in a very public way. I really have no other choice but to drop some weight and shape up a little. Otherwise I will suck royally and die in the outfield.
I really want to do this and I know that I have the potential to be good at softball. I loved playing when I was younger and I love being on a team. I bought a bat, balls, a bag, cleats, and a glove. I played catch in the yard with the two older kids today. I was out there for a half hour and I was exhausted. Let's hope the innings aren't that long. I seriously need to get my shit together! Keep your fingers crossed that I don't die. Just to be safe cross whatever body parts you can. Trust me it will help.
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